Pretty Thin.: April 2009

Thursday 30 April 2009

Quick plan.

I want to lose 3lbs a week for 3 weeks.
I need to.
I will not be week, I will be in control.
I will become a little closer to perfect.
I need this.

Wishing you strength and safety,
Happy Reading.

Tonight I discovered a website called Model Diet Plan apparently exposing the diet and exercise secrets of various models and celebrities.
A good concept, but a little misleading, many of the models we see today are those stick-thin models that parade the catwalk in Versace and Chanel, not those with hourglass figures and curves.
However, some of the advice is good, so I probably would check it out :)

Happy Reading.

Wednesday 29 April 2009

Tomorrow,

I'd like to fruit/veg fast.
I don't know if I will, but I'll probably be able to until dinnertime, then I'll just have a various vegeterian protein.
I'll do the same the next day methinks.
I want to have fewer than 1,000 calories.

I'm fairly determined, but I don't know...

Happy Reading.

Looking to the future.

I'm so looking forward to the future.
I know when I go away to 6th form if I get my place in boarding school and go away to University I will be able to control what I eat much better, especially since noone can see what I'm eating and what I'm doing to myself.
Honestly, I do not want to be like this forever, I do want kids and a husband and a life, but it's like I have two futures: one with an eating disorder surrounding by being thin and incontrol, and another with a dream life, beautiful children, happy marriage and dream job - I know I can't have both and I know it must be difficult to have one (my controlled life) and then the other (my perfect life) because the controlled life pulls you in and I want control forever too.
Wow. This is so messed up.

Anyway, a girl on an LJ support community I use directed me to a TV programme that was on on BBC1 this week called Desperately Hungry Housewives. Click here to watch it, it's actually really good, nothing about the media, nothing about teenage girls who just want to be thin, it's very real, I really would recommend it.

I would reveal what I've eaten today, but it's disgusting and I feel ashamed. What I was happy about was eating less than my slim friend at lunch, however I'm sure I ate more than she did at dinner.

Happy Reading beauties.

Tuesday 28 April 2009

Skinny Kids.

This documentary examines the effect of idealised beauty and size has on young people today.

Happy Watching :)

Superskinny Me.

When two journalists embarked on a radical plan to help them achieve Size 00 (UK size 2) they had no idea how much it would affect their lives. Whilst Louise's body changes dramatically Kate has to cope with the mental/emotional aspects of extreme dieting.

Happy Watching girls :)

Dawn Porter - Superslim Me.

Dawn Porter is a journalist from London. Just over a year ago she engaged in an experiment to discover how difficult it is to achieve desirable Size 0.

Happy Watching :)

Sunday 26 April 2009

Hannah's Story - Hollyoaks.

Saturday 25 April 2009

Ewewewewew

I've spent today drinking and eating alcohol, it's disgusting and I hate myself for it.
I need control and I just need to be thinner, just a little bit.
I fear the scale and I don't want to go out tomorrow, but I have church with a friend, we're seeing if we like it or not. I don't even know what I believe honestly.

Anyway, I'm going to start working out, I'm determined to lose weight.
So determined.
I will do it.

Fuck recovery, fuck my body.

Happy Reading.

Friday 24 April 2009

Breakfast.

Unless I'm fasting, which I don't do all that often, I eat breakfast like 99% of the time, so I like to have a list of things that are "ok" to eat.
I never used to go over 100 kcalories if I could help it, but I'm lifting that to 150 kcalories.
Anyway, here's my list:

Small bowl of rice krispies, 1 green tea.
1 banana, 1/2 slice of toasted rye bread.
1 egg, scrambled.
1 weetabix, small glass of juice.
1 slice of wholemeal toast w/ low sugar or sugar free jam.

I'll most probably add more at a later date.

Breakfast is probably my favourite meal of the day, mostly because I love breakfast foods, and also the fact that it's low calorie usually eases some guilt, but I'd rather eat breakfast at lunchtime, that would ease so much guilt.

Happy Reading.

PS: I'm going to embed some youtube videos soon :)

This Is Interesting.

A Miss Universe contestant for this year weighs 7st 7lbs and is 5'10", giving her a BMI of 15.1, basically, she is malnourished.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1172844/No-role-model-Miss-Universe-pageant-attacked-malnourished-beauty-queen.html

She claims to eat healthily.
Whatever.
She is very pretty however, but not a very good rolemodel.

Happy Reading,
stay safe girls.

1st day of recovery.

I have felt sick after every single meal.
Wow.
It feels really weird, I don't know what I want.
I'm on my period right now, so I don't know what I'm going to do, I definately want to lose weight but I when it comes down to it, I need to decide whether being healthy is more important...

Happy Reading.

To recover or not to recover, that is the question I'm currently asking myself.

Because one of my problems is bulimia I could potentially lose weight with recovery, actually, I know I probably will, I'm at my highest weight now, I was thinner before I developed an eating disorder.

Anyway, just had 1 + 1/2 a weetabix for breakfast, which is a lot for me and I feel fulllll, how weird is that? I've been eating very little recently, but binged/purged last night.

Shit, I have school in like 20 minutes, which I hate, but whatever.
Plan for today:

School.
Eat lunch.
School.
Fran's after school.
Violin.
Exercise.
Sleep.

Not too shabby a day methinks.

Happy Reading,

Be careful girls/guys.

Thursday 23 April 2009

Thinspiration.

This girl is so gorgeous.
I'm envious, she must work so hard to stay thin, she's so flawless.

Happy Reading,
Stay strong, but most of all safe.

Hi.

First, this is not in anyway a pro-anorexia blog.
I despise pro-anorexia. Or calling these diseases "ana" or "mia" or any of the other pretty little names stupid girls give these disease that make it seem any less deadly.

What this site may/probably will contain:

Thinspiration - Not just super skinny girls with bones popping out all over the place but healthy thinspiration if I'm in a healthy emotional state.
Occasional rants about my eating disorders.
Food list - With nutrional information about various foods.
Meal plans.
General plans.
Various resources/links.